You've Got Mail
by lylangelgurl
Summary: In life, they hated each other. But online they were in love. HermioneDraco. Parody of You've Got Mail.


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter OR You've Got Mail or ... anything:(

Ok, I know, I know, I'm starting another fic while I have 3 or so unfinished ones. But I couldn't help myself! I just have to get this idea out of my head! And yes, I WILL finish my other fics. I'll just do a bit of multitasking:)

Warning! This fic is AU! No magic! Just Fluff! I was watching You've Got Mail and just wondered how it would be if Draco and Hermione were in it! So this is sort of like ... a parody of the movie! Hope you like!

**Chapter One **

**Morning Log Ons**

Hermione Granger was a happy woman, in fact, she was ecstatic. She was waking up to a beautiful fall day in, her opinion, the best city in the world - New York City. And that's not all she happy about, everything was going completely wonderful in her life. She owned a successful bookstore in the Upper West Side, she had great friends, and an amazingly sweet boyfriend.

"Mmm," she groaned happily, slowing rising, "Isn't it a wonderful day, Ron?"

"What are you so happy about?" replied Ron, smiling as he put on his tie.

"It's just a wonderful day! Today's going to be a good day, I just know it!" she said as she walked over to her bathroom.

"Hm, well, at least one of us is looking forward to today. I hate getting to work at 7, I love the newspaper, but not the early wake up. I've been up for nearly an hour."

"And you're about to be late," she replied, brushing her teeth, "that's what I love about owning my own store, it opens at 9. No more getting to work at 7 for me!"

"Alright," said Ron, grabbing his coat as he gave Hermione a quick kiss, "I'll see you tonight! We're ordering in tonight!"

"Okay, see you tonight!"

"Chinese!" he shouted as he left.

Hermione listened for the click of the lock before leaving the bathroom and peeked into the hallway. She made sure he was gone before plopping down in front of her desk and signing on to the internet, hoping she had a email. Sure enough, she was greeted by a "You've Got Mail" as soon as she signed in. She opened up her mailbox and opened an email titled "Brinkley" from NY152.

"_Brinkley is my dog," the email read, "I take him for a walk every morning and he loves them. I don't think it's the walking part that he loves the most, it's the streets. He loves New York almost as much as I do. He's a purebred dalmatian and used to complete in competitions but now he spends most of his time sleeping on a large cushion that's almost as big as my bed. Almost. _

"_Don't you just love New York in the fall? Seeing all these leaves falling makes me want to rake them. I would send you a bouquet of freshly raked leaves if I knew your name and address._ _On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms." _

**( x ) ****_Meanwhile ..._**

Draco Malfoy was sitting in his girlfriend Pansy Parkinson's kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He was reading the newspaper when his girlfriend rushed in, quickly opening the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of Evian.

"Oh gosh, I am so late," she said, trying to do her hair as she put a piece of toast in the toaster, "I don't know why I agreed on hosting a _morning _show. Of course, I'd be getting about 250,000 more viewers than if I did a noon show." she said quickly, waiting for her toast.

"Mmhmm," replied Draco absentmindedly as he read the newspaper.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry," she exclaimed, impatiently yelling at the toaster, "Ugh, I'm interviewing Celestina Warbeck today, and the executives _know_ I absolutely despise her, but at least I don't have to deal with Rita Skeeter"

"Aren't you late?" asked Draco, taking a sip of coffee.

Pansy looked at her watch and shrieked. "Oh god! Alright, I'll see you tonight!" she said, giving him a kiss and grabbing her toast.

Draco looked over his newspaper, making sure Pansy was gone, before heading over to his laptop and signing on. He opened the email from ShopGirl and read it.

"_Dear Friend, I always like to start off my emails to you as if we're in the middle of a conversation. I pretend we're close friends who've known each other for the longest time, instead of what we really are - complete strangers. Even so, I look forward to your emails. I sign on everyday, hoping I'll hear those three little letters. 'You've Got Mail.' Once I hear it, I let out the breath I've been holding and smile. I've got mail - from you."_

Draco arrived at the site of his new book store an hour later. "Morning Blaise," he greeted happily to his best friend and the Chief Operations Officer of Malfoy, Inc.

"Alright Mr. CEO, did you and Pansy have a particularly good romp last night?" replied Blaise, narrowing his eyes.

"For your information, no. It's just a good day. What's wrong with being friendly?"

"Malfoy, you're practically skipping! I've haven't seen you this happy since you bedded Pansy for the first time 2 months ago. Anyways, the electrician couldn't make it this morning - fell in a pothole from what I heard. We got a $25,000 fine for construction workers spitting off the roof," said Blaise, reading off of his clipboard.

"Good, good," replied Draco absentmindedly.

"_And_," continued Blaise, "the shipment of lumber we ordered is going to be 2 weeks late."

"That's great Blaise. Is the electrician here yet?" replied Draco, taking a sip of his coffee.

"You weren't listening were you?"

"Of course I was!"

"I just told you the electrician couldn't make it.," Blaise narrowed his eyes, "You and Pansy got engaged didn't you? That's why you're so happy! You can tell me you know. I _am _your best friend."

"What?" exclaimed Draco, "No! Me and Pansy? Of course not!"

"I thought you liked Pansy." replied Blaise, raising his eyebrows.

"I do. _I do. _Pansy's great ... she's great. But, she's not wife material. She's a have-sex-with-dump-a-few-weeks-later kind of girl."

"Ouch, that's harsh. See, with that kind of attitude, you're going end up a bachelor for a long, long time."

"Yah, yah, so did you make the announcement to the neighborhood yet? Tell em we're coming?"

"Why? This is the Upper West side. Tell them a Malfoy Books is opening up here and they'll tear us to pieces. They'll start picketing the big bad chainstore. Why are you opening up a bookstore anyways? Malfoy, Inc. is a publishing company, why start a chain of bookstores?"

"Expanding the company," replied Draco simply, "And don't worry about the neighborhood. They'll hate us in the beginning, but we'll entice them with our square footage, our leather armchairs, our discounts, and our legal addictive stimulants."

"Ah, coffee. You're a mastermind," replied Blaise dryly.

**( x )**

"Morning Ginny," greeted Hermione happily as she unlocked the door to her children's bookstore.

"Morning Hermione," responded Ginny, eyeing Hermione warily.

"Don't you just love New York in the fall?" said Hermione, walking in.

"Mmm," responded Ginny, opening a new shipment of books.

"Bouquets of raked leaves," mumbled Hermione, chuckling as she opened the register.

"Alright," said Ginny, abandoning the books and walking towards Hermione. "Tell me what's going on!"

"Ok, am I cheating on your brother if I'm talking to someone online?"

"Have you had cybersex?"

"What? No!" exclaimed Hermione, "Anyways, I met him online about a month ago and it's great. We email back and forth."

"What do you talk about?" asked Ginny curiously.

"Everything, except our names, what we do. We talk about just about everything except really personal stuff."

"Gosh, you know, he could be the next person to walk into the store!" exclaimed Ginny, amazed.

"I know!"

"He could be ... he could be Neville!" whispered Ginny as Neville walked in.

"Morning," greeted Neville.

"Hey Neville, are you online?" asked Ginny cheerfully.

"Well," started Neville as he set down his bag, "as I see it, the internet is just another way to get dumped." he said as he walked off and started opening the shipment Ginny had abandoned.

"Morning girls," said Luna dreamily as she walked into the store, "Opening time!"

"Morning Luna," replied Ginny

"What are you two talking about?" asked Luna as she took off her coat and scarf.

"We were just talking about Hermione's online lover!"

"Gin! He's not my lover!"

"I met a guy online once," started Luna, "he turned out to be a complete weirdo ..."

"So you're living with my brother now?" asked Ginny with a mischievous grin, "have yo two ... done anything really naughty yet?"

"Ginny! He's your brother!"

"Yes, but you're also my best friend," replied Ginny, winking, "So you have to tell me these sort of things!"

**( x )**

"Construction's going well on the new bookstore," said Draco to his father, the president of Malfoy, Inc., "Blaise and I are a bit worried about the neighborhood response though."

"Well," started Lucius, leaning back into his leather armchair, "you're the one that wanted to start and chain of bookstores _and _open one in the Upper West Side, no less."

"Hmm. So I hear from mom that you're getting married to Veronica."

Lucius raised his eyebrows, "Your mother knows too much." he mumbled.

"So why are you marrying again? This is what? Your 3rd marriage since mom? What is it this time?"

"Don't know," he replied, lighting his cigar.

"Love?"

"Maybe. Anyway, Alexander is turning 4, it would be nice for him to know that his parents are married."

**( x )**


End file.
